More like HollyWEIRD amirght?!

L.A. is funny. just another city that looks like the rest of the cities. lacking in hot boys, just like the rest of em. However, not lacking in free comedy shows. and we all know if there is one thing I like to do it is laugh. especially when I'm on drugs. and it turns out, L.A. has drugs too! WEIRD! KEWL.

I want to fuck Chris Hardwick. Is that weird? I saw him tell some jokes the other day and I was all "hey boy heyyyyy" but like not really cause I didn't talk to him or anything silly like that. I just sat at a table drinking an over priced whiskey and coke, heartily laughing at his jokes about fucking a shoe. He no longer drinks, and because I am a selfish person, that makes me sad. Is that a bad trait? That I get sad when I find out people are sober? I just like, wanna party with them, ya know? Why's you have to go and be an alcoholic and fuck up your life, couldn't you just party like a normal person and keep it in check? JEEZ. way to ruin everything Chris Hardwick. how am I ever supposed to seduce you now? thats how sex works right? You both get good and drunk, and then one person seduces the other? and then you wake up in the morning and you're both all "uhh.. what? oops. ha..ha.." and then you RUN AWAY. perfectly healthy.

Veterans are always trying to give Colleen and I advice everywhere we go. There was the one sad one in Houston that told us we were too nice of girls to be in that city and we needed to get outta there as quick as possible! He even offered us money, even though he very clearly didn't have much. Then on the bus just last night a veteran kept offering us food. He really wanted to feed us. First he offered a chocolate donut, and then some bananas. We declined because we were on morphine. and there is no need to eat while on morphine, IMO. Then he REALLY wanted to get Colleen some new shoes. He said we could get off the bus somewhere and he'd buy her some. We declined again. THEN he wanted to hang out with us and get us high and show us the city. Colleen gave him a fake phone number. This guy would not shut up. He was EXTREMELY racist and very strange. I hope we don't run into him on the bus again, he gonna beat us for giving him the wrong number. probably with a belt!

Tonight I will get high and make shepherds pie. (I CAN RHYME!)

Tomorrow, however, I will go to another free comedy show. But this one is for PLAYBOY. I hope I get to see titties, and those titties buy me a beer.