Currently I am in L.A., or how I like to call it, the city of Angels, where dreams come true, little people become big people and big people become little people. I have, however, not seen one damn angel yet. Unless you count this REALLY cute puppy named Tucker that I met. That is the second cute puppy Tucker I've met in my life. I like em, all right.
Being here has given more time to think about things, and that is not always a good thing. I keep going back and forth on this boy. Wondering if I blew it, or if he blew it or if neither of us blew and both of us are sitting in our respective homes wondering if the other one is thinking about us. But I will never know, I am sure. Such is my life. This one makes me feel like I'm in junior high again. I don't like that feeling. I'm over it. Whatever.
Add that to the list of things that I feel "whatever" towards. I find myself not caring about much of anything. Shrug it all off, cause what does it matter anyways? It doesn't. Who really gives a fuck about anything? Not me. I sometimes wonder what its like to be a person that cares about things like a clean house, an actual job, waking up early, etc. but then I really think about it and realize that I am just happier the way I am. The idea of stress, stresses me out. I'd rather get high. I'd rather have fun. I'd rather laugh. I'd rather dance. I'd rather travel the world. There is so much I'd rather do than spend my life caring about mundane details. I wish that more people would understand that what they want out of life is not what I want. That I choose to live my life a little differently and that is okay. Its not hurting anyone, I am doing good for me. I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. Yes, it would be nice to have more money or a stable relationship or whatever, but that is not all I'm looking for. Those aren't the things that make one happy. Sometimes you gutta be stupid to be smart for yourself. Does that make sense to you? Probably not. I just wish that people would stop projecting their own bullshit onto me. Live your own life dude, and I'll live mine just the way I want. This is not meant to be to anyone in particular, it just a common theme in my life that I get people telling me I'm "crazy" or "stupid" or some other derogatory adjective for doing things differently than them and I'm tired of it.
Who is the boss, anyways?
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